Love Languages: Quality Time

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WORDS // JESSICA BILLS

The people I feel closest to are the people I spend the most time with.

I mean, that makes complete sense. No poetry here. That’s just logic. But is there more to loving someone who feels the most loved from quality time?

See, the need for quality time (or any of the other love languages) is something ALL people need at different times.

When I took the quiz, I got QT (quality time) and Words of Affirmation as my top, but that doesn’t mean I don’t explode from happiness when someone gives me a gift or when a man I fancy hugs me.

Okay! Established. Every relationship needs quality time. BUT then why are we here, Jess?
Well, dear Kindred, we are here because there is more to QT than meets Google’s definition.

Quality time is more than sitting on a couch with someone watching a movie. It’s even more than tagging along when someone does grocery shopping.

Showing someone love through quality time is about
the sacrifice you are making through the giving of your time
to share an experience with that person.

So sometimes it is as simple as going to Target with a roommate, but it can also be as extravagant as going to Yosemite with friends for just a wild 20 hour road trip. Because what qualifies quality time, is in fact the quality of the time. It’s like that life mantra, quality over quantity. And indeed! That is entirely it!

What makes me feel the most loved is two parts:

  • Someone giving up their time to be with me.
  • Someone striving to make that time helpful or memorable.

To me, this is how we care for one another. We ask questions. We offer our own vulnerable answers. So coffee dates can run for one, two, three, or four hours long and have produced sincerely intimate friendships.

But that’s the other side to quality time: the maintenance. QT people can sometimes take a while to warm up. For example,  I actually saw a dear friend tonight, and we hadn’t talked in nearly two years. Two years ago we were thick as thieves. And even today I would say I love her incredibly so, but it was awkward because our friendship was like a car on the 8,000th mile past it’s time for an oil change.

Time is usually a conflict in our lives; we can’t wait for things to come, but the good things go by too fast. But in the case of loving a QT person, time is your friend. Don’t rush. Give them 30 minutes more than they expect and watch them take your friendship into new depths.

 


LETTERING // SAM PALENCIA