Love Languages: Acts of Service


My primary love language is Acts of Service. To me, this sounds like the most narcissistic of all the love languages. “Hey, I feel super loved because you just served me. Thanks.”

If this is your love language, it can be a tough pill to swallow. Often times it can be misunderstood as a demanding love language or an ungrateful one. I think I have played to both of those sides. Oops.

But in its purity, Acts of Service is simply about the intensity in which I am known, and the extreme effort it takes to show me.

It is hard for me to serve people. Truly.

I know God calls us to be like Jesus, be servant hearted, sacrifice ourselves for our brothers; I just struggle with it so much. It takes an uncanny amount of effort for me not to look to my own interests, but to the interests of others. That is why Acts of Service is my love language.

I understand how difficult it is to literally lay down your time, your money, your labor, your skills, your LIFE for someone. So when a loved one does it for me, I see the significant amount of effort it must have taken. I feel taken care of.

Acts of service manifests itself in so many different ways.

Tardiness is a pet peeve of mine. When people are on time, ready to go, no questions asked, I feel insanely loved. I feel that I was worth their time, attention and energy.

My grandpa recently went to be with the Lord. I was devastated of course and my two best friends both drove over an hour from separate places to be with me at his funeral.  They sat with me as I cried and stayed until I was ok. That time and attention was such a sacrifice on their part. But in that moment, I was worth their time. They know me so deeply and their love was exemplified by their service.

Acts of Service is a very abstract concept to grasp and often times it can be hard to identify if this is your love language. But to simplify, this love language is about thoughtfulness followed up by action.


Sincerely KindredComment